Valerii Rage: Any rage that involves immediate screaming and throwing of furniture and/or cracking one's head into glass and/or walls.
Joey Rage: The most audience amusing rage, it is characterized by sudden verbal outbursts involving a number of synanoms for the male anatomy and then esclates into an anti-Marxist (or some other philosopher) triad before continuing into a rage against society/man/UBC/anal sex/whatever is bothering the ragee. Punctuated throughout this rage are keyboard slams and a number of doom related statements about the ragee and his/her state of mind. Ends in a need for physical activities that include but are not limited to running/swimming/driving around Canada in a Subaru.
Britta Rage: Any rage that involves a loud verbal outburst and then the sudden demise of a faulty and/or malfunctioning piece of electronics.
Tran Rage: A very loud, verbally based rage at the world caused by general annoyances piling up and overwhelming the ragee. Characterized by bursts of cockslap stating the top reasons for the given bursts of rage which then causes more rage, etc. etc.
Adama Rage: A simmering, repressed rage that involves monologuing to a third party about the source of the rage. Characterized by excessive clenching of the jaw and a look of mild irritation straining the eyes. May also be accompanied by short bursts of violence and/or yelling.
Bee Rage: Angry bitterness at the internet and all people who receive the SciFi channel on Friday night. Can escalate into other rage levels depending upon the speed at which she can find and retrieve the new episode of Battlestar Galactica. Characterized by excessive sarcasm and cutting statements.
Lew Rage: The subtlest and most difficult to detect of the Crack Chat Defcon Rage Ratings. Lew Rage is a controlled slow boil that results in the most cutting and sarcastic statements directed toward the recipient(s) of the rage and may result in a final explosion.
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